Happiness: a choice

Webster defines happiness as “feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc”

Nowhere in this definition does Webster include the word “perfect” or “complete” or even “wonderful.” In life, you will have moments when things do not go exactly how you planned or would have liked for them to go. Take it from me, a complete control freak, when I say that I rather my life be in ORDER and going according to my “plan.” Life isn’t just a plan though, and no matter how hard we try, it is going to throw us curveballs. Life is a road with a lot of potholes, but we learn to swerve. According to the definition, all we have to experience to be “happy” is pleasure or enjoyment from our life and situation. THIS is the key. It is a choice whether we feel happy or not.

There are several ways we can decide to be happy.

1. Let things happen rather than forcing things. “The key to happiness is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be.” I love this quote because its crucial. There are going to be so many things happen that are out of your control.. instead of trying to FIX FIX FIX, just let it be. If there is anything that I have learned over my 21 years, it is that everything happens for a reason. Things get better. Bad days go away. Happiness will always prevail.

2. Realize all of the reasons you have to be happy rather than focussing on the reasons you have to be sad. You have two choices of what to focus on- the good OR the bad. That’s is.. literally two choices. It’s a complete mindset. We take the good things for granted and when something bad happens, it is all we notice. Stop the negative thinking and look at all of the good. I bet you have a family to be thankful for, good health, a home, food to eat, and friends who love you. Focus on those things.

3. L A U G H. Laugh all the time. Laugh at yourself when you do something silly. Laugh at your own jokes. Put in a funny movie and act silly with your friends. Did you know that laughter has actual health benefits? It is connected with lower blood sugar, acts as a defense against respiratory infections, improves alertness, and of highest importance (to this blog) it reduces stress hormones. It is much easier to be happy when we are less stressed.

4. Make others happy. It is almost impossible to be unhappy when making someone else happy. When we are generous and have others’ happiness at heart, we too will see a difference in our own emotional state. Go out of your way for someone. Surprise someone with an unexpected, nice text. Call your parents and tell them how much you love them. Do these things and watch how you feel afterwards.

5. Exercise your mind. This takes time and training. In order to be happy, we have to DECIDE to be. It doesn’t always feel like a choice, but it really is. When you feel those negative thoughts creeping up, stop them. When you notice that you have been thinking in a more positive way, silently reward yourself with a “Good work. Keep it up.” (Or out loud, if you’re super weird like me). Deciding to have this positive mindset is a decision that we have to make every single morning when we wake up.

6. Pray. Pray to God and ask Him for His help. Seek His power over this. We cannot always do this kind of thing on our own, and the good news is, we don’t have to.

7. Challenge yourself. You cried three times yesterday? Only cry twice tomorrow. Baby steps, people. Life SUCKS sometimes, and we aren’t going to wake up one day and never have another sorrow again. Let’s just be honest. What we CANNOT do is stay in this stagnant phase of unhappiness. As long as we are moving forward in SOME way, we are making progress.

“Happiness is a journey.. not a destination.”

“Happiness is a conscious choice.. not an automatic response.”

“Happiness does not mean that everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

“Be your own happiness.”